| I know of those who sigh and grieve for how much they love. I, too, had once thrown myself into fear and depression because I had loved uncontrollably. I constantly prayed that the day my love may leave me would never come, whether due to death or, worse, the ceasing of his love. I felt empty and insecure because of how much love I had given. Because I was insecure, I felt sick even if I had to be apart from my lover for just a day. While our love was so sweet and enjoyable, I also became incapable of, or rather unwilling to, enjoy other things in my life, such as the company of my friends and family. Everything else besides us seemed dull and sometimes dark. Two years ago, I posted the following... during then I was feeling so much pain because I seemed to be receiving nothing in return for the love and effort I had given:
just a thought...
if love was a feeling as sadness and pain are, then it exists as a prompt for a change and a signal for danger. if that were true, then love is only a hereditary mechanism for survival of our species.
if that were true, then unconditional love, which i believe is either short-lived or exists only in mother's love, is not so honorable after all. so called universal love for mankind does not exist, for beyond a certain point, it actually has a negative effect on individual wellbeing.
then, to say that your life revolves around someone you love is either fundamentally false or the pre-wiring of your brain had gone wrong. in the end (e.g. married and had kids), the so called "feeling of love" is transformed into commitment. homogamy will be the only determinant of a successful relationship.
thus, given that personalities of adults hardly change also, if the values and roles of your partner does not match yours, you probably need to find a new one cuz no, "love" is not everything. But love is more important than that. Love is full of strength and power. The greatest form of love that the world knows is fearless: which mother gauges her love for her son because she is afraid that she would get hurt? Not only mothers, but men and maidens are capable of such love. This is true love. There is nothing to fear when the Almighty God, who loves you beyond understanding, has His hands on you. You will be comforted and given the best if you would just wait and see. There is nothing to fear in loving, but only wholesomeness to be experienced. Do not fear the day that your loved one may hurt you, for it only prevents you from experiencing the goodness of love. If, indeed, the day that your loved one would hurt you comes, do not revenge but trust that the Lord will be your judge. He will deliver you from what is unfit for you, and make you happy again. This kind of wholehearted trust is not another form of irresponsibility, but due the realization of one’s own limitedness. Can someone extend their days by worrying? Who knows the time of their death and how deeply can one look into the heart of another so that their futures may be planned accordingly? For death strikes in silence and layers and layers of fabrication prevents us from understanding the completely unmasked others. In fact, no one truly knows even their own self. How many times had we said things like, “I don’t know why I did that” or “I don’t know what I want”? It is only wise to know your own limits, which are plenty. I am confident to say that my love is no longer contaminated, at least for most of the time. Fear of the future is replaced by joy in the present and neediness is replaced by tenderness. No longer is it a priority that my loved one must conform to my wills, but I only wish first for what is best for him. I am not suggesting that I have grasped it all, but I have experienced positive changes and am only yearning for more. Love is not a mystery. An understandable answer to the question, “what is love”, can only be gained through experience, which must be preceded by the willingness to love. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 |
